Nothing cures writer’s block quite like writing. This morning I have been jotting down whatever comes to mind in hopes of shooing away this annoying block in my creativity. Seriously though, lately I’ve been so uninspired on the blog front. It wasn’t until today I realized that this lack of thought provoking material stems from the fact that I am totally and completely happy. You might think that’s an odd statement, but it is the same thing as when people say, “I hope Adele never falls in love because her music will suck.” Well here is Kendall, no longer confused, depressed and unemployed, so what does she have to write about? Sadly this is how I’ve been feeling lately. It is easy for me to write about 20-something confusion and feeling lost. I can crack a self-deprecating joke and the words start flowing. However, in the past few months I have felt so far from lost, and I know exactly where I’m going. Writing about these feelings of certainty feels almost like bragging. When I have so many friends still bubbling over with confusion I don’t want to feel like I’m gloating because to me boasting is ugly.
Nevertheless, there is a lot to be said for this level of happiness. I arrived at this place almost out of nowhere. And it’s not a line in the sand that you just cross and arrive at happy. For me it’s little things that slowly creep up over the course of a few months. Long story short, this morning I have been thinking about all the subtle ways you know you have arrived at a place of pure bliss.
- Alone time is refreshing, not lonely.
- You don’t feel the need to lose the last 3 or 5 pounds.
- You can’t remember the last time you felt jealous.
- You don’t criticize or compare.
- You learn how to say “no” and not feel guilty.
- You wear less makeup (It’s either the inner glow or all those leafy greens I am eating).
- Outside of work and loved ones, you really don’t give a shit what people think.
- You don’t say sorry for things that don’t warrant an apology.
- You learn how to take a compliment.
- You no longer feel the instant gratification from shopping because you are already content. Thus, you buy less, which means you have more money, which obviously keeps you on the happy train.
I am enjoying my life with no expectations, knowing that things can change in an instant. I don’t deserve to be in this place more than anyone else so thankful is the best thing I can be.